by Julian Rosen
The first time I heard Elliott Smith’s music I was fourteen, watching Richie Tenenbaum’s attempted suicide in a very blue tinted bathroom while “Needle in the Hay” played in the background. I was obsessed pretty immediately. Smith’s self titled was the first album of his I listened to. I hold it very close to my heart and when I recently found out about this 25th anniversary remaster I got real excited. Then I began to think to myself (which is never good for anyone), “what if these remastered tracks take away from the charm and original sound that make this album so perfect?”. Per usual, I was wrong. The remastered songs sound like I put glasses on my ears and I can finally hear better and those tiny headaches have finally stopped.
Elliott Smith’s self titled is an utterly depressing album to its core. It’s full of some of the most haunting and beautiful songs you’ll ever hear, but it’ll take a toll on your mood by the end of it. It’s littered with reoccurring themes of drug abuse, feeling strung out, and self hatred throughout the tracklist. Smith’s sound is at its most intimate and vulnerable here. Occasionally accompanied by a ghostly lead guitar, a harmonica, an organ, or some light drums, it’s mostly just Smith and his guitar which gives the album this bare stripped down sound and makes this record feel as alienating as it does.
The album starts off with “Needle in the Hay,” a pulsing guitar, eerie vocal melody, the ever present strain in Smith’s delicate whisper of a voice. This track sets the tone for the rest of the album: it’s bleak and beautiful. It’s full of lyrics that are smart, vague, sad, and full of euphemisms and puns. “You say you know what he did, but you idiot kid, you don't have a clue. Sometimes they just get caught in the eye you’re pulling him through,” is a great example of this. A song likely about drug abuse, someone is getting pulled through “the eye” of a needle. Whether it’s a needle being used to shoot up or if he’s using the needle as a metaphor for life itself, it’s evocative and witty. “Single File” brings up similar subject matter like drugs and self loathing, “Single file, you're a murder mile, you idiot kid, your arm's got a death in it”. The person in focus here seems to be painfully aware that what they’re doing to themselves is harming them.
“Clementine” makes you feel exactly the way it sounds, bluesy, slow, intoxicated, up too late and trying to forget about something you can’t stop thinking about or maybe something you can’t stop being reminded of, no matter where you go. “Southern Belle,'' “Alphabet Town,” and “St. Ides Heaven'' are about pretty different topics, but all share the feeling of hating where you are or where you’re from. “Southern Belle'' seems to be about an abusive relationship and how the spectator can’t take it anymore. “Alphabet Town” feels like Smith is in a small town and in some sort of toxic relationship. Addiction is never explicitly mentioned, but it feels like that’s what’s keeping him here or with the girl being sung about. “Everything is exactly right when I walk around here drunk every night, with an open container from 7-11 in St. Ides heaven”. Smith has a routine “here,” and again is bringing up addiction, depression, self deprecation. St. Ides is a beer, when Smith is drunk he’s in heaven. It’s simple and it’s funny, but it’s also genuinely heartbreaking, especially knowing what we all know about him now and how his life ended. Smith struggled with addiction in different forms most of his life, had an abusive and traumatic childhood and all of that surfaces in these songs. This album makes you feel something that I can’t say any other album has or might ever be able to. You feel like you’re struggling and dealing with what Elliot is singing about alongside him, or even as him. It’s painfully honest, uncomfortably intimate and raw.
Song’s like “Christian Brothers” and “Satellite” continue to showcase what an absolute talent Smith was, and how he seemed to always be able to find the perfect melody to accompany everything he wrote. These songs also feature some of his more vague and indecipherable lyrics. Very short lyrics make it harder to grasp or figure out what they might be about, but there’s so much beauty in that. Music is meant to mean something different to everyone, it’s supposed to have individual interpretations and reaction. All it takes is one line to make a connection. Smith was able to do that, his words never hit you over the head with meaning, they just leave little hints to let you grab onto and paint your own picture, but never Smith’s picture.
Live at Umbra Penumbra is the earliest known recording of Elliott Smith as a solo performer. He plays songs from “Roman Candle,” “New Moon,” “Alphabet Town” off of his self titled, along with a few other rarities you could probably find somewhere online, but have no official release. During the recording he mentions that he wrote “Half Right” earlier in the day and then proceeds to perform it live for the first time, which is a really nice treat for big time fans. I mean it when I say that I’m not usually into live recordings. More often than not, there’s nothing special besides hearing the large crowd of people’s cheers rise and lower in volume between each song. Similar to how the crowd speaking at the beginning of the recording seem to fall into a trance once Smith starts playing, I also fell into a trance. I felt like I was there. Smith’s voice is somehow even more fragile live than it sounds on the record. It’s pretty unbelievable. It’s so honest and he barely speaks between songs, but you can hear how modest and shy he sounds. It’s a pretty special recording.
This was a great experience, it was a chance to listen to an album that’s had a deep impact on me in a way I hadn't heard before. This album hits a lot of low points. It’s not uplifting. It doesn’t make you think that things are going to get better. It’s a painfully honest, hazy, intoxicated glimpse into Smith’s life that we were lucky enough to have shared with us. From start to finish it’s literal ear candy, though it may make you consider calling a doctor and asking about anti depressants. It’s something very special.