by Dan Goldin (@post_trash_)
New York’s Ben Seretan is the type of person who spreads joy wherever he goes. He kinda lights up a room and I’ve witnessed it in person without any personal relationship to the artist. His music, on the other hand, tends to take a more somber and subdued look into introspection, searching for meaning from his childhood and all that has resulted since. Set to release his latest album, Youth Pastoral, on February 28th via Whatever’s Clever (Scree, Transistor Ray, Office Culture), the album is a reflection on growing up a Christian teenager and the rebellion that emerged in lieu of it.
Having recently shared “Power Zone,” the album’s first single, we’re eager to share “Am I Doing Right By You,” a sentimental song that truly beats with an explosive heart. Built on a great deal of folk sincerity and a penchant to push into noisier layered arrangements, Seretan and company ease into twangy atmospheres and heartbroken drawls. As the first hook offers the titular question with an impassion croon, the band collide with a brash outburst, fading back again during the verse. The song’s structure eventually leaves the verse-to-chorus proceedings, quietly receding into a beautifully done bridge, and prolonged muscular crescendo that continues to build far beyond expectations.
Speaking about the song, Seretan shared:
“This is really where the line started to get blurry between worshipping a flawed lover and worshipping a flawed god, and craving the unattainable approval of either. I'm never really sure who I'm singing to or who I'm singing about.
I know I experience this - as do many other people, who have said as much after hearing the song live: constantly worrying that they are doing right, that they are in the good graces. I think the chanting and the frankly demented guitar playing at the end goes from desperately wanting approval to then resenting the person you are beholden to, then it becomes wanting to intentionally irritate and then openly mock. At a certain point the "oh my gods" become sarcastic, demonic. Biting at the thumb you're under.
It's crucial to understand that there are two versions of oh, my god - the question (oh, my god?) that earnestly wants the question answered, that wonders if the person listening is really there and the exclamation (oh my god!) which conveys shock, anger, incredulity. They alternate within the song.
One weird thing about this song is that, as I endeavor to share this record with the world, I am constantly wondering whether or not I am doing right. But instead of doing right by God or doing right by a lover I am wondering whether or not I am doing right by my friend we lost. Is it distasteful to share this music? Am I being opportunistic, is it in bad taste, is it what she would have wanted? I am constantly wringing my hands about it, and now every time I sing this song live I am thinking of her. Strange how these songs (all songs) change.”